Anne's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I've been married for 25 years and have a brilliant supportive husband.
I work full time and sometimes have to travel to other European countries.
We love jiving and rock n roll. Which we got involved in nearly 4 years ago. We've met lots of great people through it.
- About my teenager:
- My 19 yr old teenager is an apprentice carpenter but I don't know how long he's going to keep his job even though he loves it. He hasn't done a full week's work for the last 8 weeks! He behaves like he's 13. He is financially irresponsible. He has spent all his savings from when he was a kid. He spends every penny he earns - and more. He never takes responsibility for his actions and doesn't understand that there are consequences. He has been smoking dope since he was 13, his usage gradually increased and he ended up smoking 8 big joints a day and taking coke. He was also dealing in both. 8 weeks ago he gave it all up suddenly and went through dreadful cold turkey. Now he's started smoking dope again.
- The one question I would like to ask Sarah.
- How can I make my son understand he can't spend more money than he earns?
- My biggest challenge.
- At the moment our son takes all our energy and time, so our biggest challenge is to make time for us to enjoy ourselves without worrying about him all the time.
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We go to more early 50's R and B...at the Rhythm Riot soon...I see The Revolutionaries are playing at Brean which is always fun.
Ok my sense is when I read this is that he is getting the drugs out of his system and you may all need time to heal. It is so great that he is taking the journey he has and is coming out the other side...that is a massive step and shows he can take responsibility.
Drugs mess up your perspective on everything so it is not surprising he is where he is.
Taking this one day at a time is a good thing.
I would take this is small steps. I always talk about what I call 1% actions and I think this is what is needed here.
So what is it you want - the big picture and then how could you break that down into smaller pieces?
Let’s start there.
By the way I am in Northampton so not very far away
Good that he does not smoke it the house and he will give it up when he has a good enough reason.
What you did to do is create a system here that you stick to...if he is working then how can he owe you £900? How much does he earn and what is he responsible for paying? That is the long and short of it. Get clear there stick to it and do not give him anymore. You cannot make him take responsibility but you can protect yourself in the process. If he is not taking responsibility for his money it will be because the pain is not bad enough and he does not need to.
What are the circumstances that have lead him to owing you £900?
I spend a lot of time on the jiving scene and love 50's R and B so I may know you......
Ok long and short of it is you can not make him understand I am afraid!
What agreements do you have in place regarding his living arangments? Is he smoking in the house? What have you tried so far with him?